Chapter 1: Approaching
There is many way to approach people but we will especially speak about direct approaches.
Basic rules
We all have friends (I hope) or, at least, asked for information like the time, a place we don’t know. You have been approached too by salesman, homeless or even women! Did you notice how you tend to react in these situations? Most of the time people are surprised, scared... Some can ignore you too. Now have you already think the reason of theses patterns? I used the word “Pattern”, because we developed different responses based on our past experience. The most common response to a cold approach after asking a smoke in the street is: “Sorry bro, just one left.” There are so many guys in the street with only one cigarette
If you can’t obtain a free cigarette or some change in the street, don’t think about meeting hot women in your daily life.(1)
There are some hints to increase your chance to stop people in the street and gain their attention.(2)
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Introducing yourself: by giving your name, you will be closer to them than you think. You are not a random stranger anymore.
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Don’t apologize: is it something wrong by asking something to someone? No! Excuses must be used when you have done something bad or shown a lake of respect to someone. You can use the word please when you ask something. Apologies show a low self-confidence.
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Kino: some people are very sensitive to it. Touching people as soon as you can and check their reaction.
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Approach on an angle: 45 degrees is perfect. You can pivot closer and farer when you feel the need to. A frontal or a back approach is too invasive and may surprise or scared your target. You can front your target only when she/he has been stopped.
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Don’t judge on appearances: some of you may think an I-pod or a mobile phone is the sign of a strong bitch-shield. Wrong! I picked-up my current girlfriend despite her was using both. I’ll give you later good openers to deal with it.
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Go without thinking about what you’ll tell: you’ll look like more confident. It will help you to acquire good reflexes and improve your improvisation skills. If your main goal is to become a natural player, focus especially on this point.
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Keep your distance: Everybody has an intimacy bubble. This one depends of the culture(3) and the person’s education. Breaking this vital space too early and you are out.
I supposed that you noticed, some points can’t work together like kino and keep your distance. Try all theses points by asking some change or cigarettes in the street. Check what works for you, and which point you may improve. This is very important to do it, because
80% of the approached person’s decision will be based on this set of skills.
The art of being direct
Meaning and utility
The goal is to demonstrate your immediate interest to your target. You can do it verbally or not. It is more complicated than it looks like.(4)
When I started to be involved in the PUA community , I have been quickly interested in direct-game. In fact after few months, I was feeling wasting my time by approaching people in bars. Of course meeting new people is the best thing in life for us, human beings, and sociable animals. You will learn a lot about any subject from religion to sports or arts. I merely wanted to be sure to get lay often and quickly.
At this period, I had just read on the Internet about a scientist who did an interesting experience. He was saying than every healthy man ugly or not (he was really...) could have sex with an average or good-looking girl in less than one month, all of it without money, just a condom. He said he approached every girl he was seeing in the street until he sleeps with one. He scored around the 300th. You are just thinking he played with numbers, anybody can easily do it. Could you guess what his kind of opener was?
Hello! You are fucking hot! Let’s go for a coffee and have sex afterwards
He was using a serious intonation; it was not a joke or told in a funny way. He was asking to have sex right away. Is it still easy for you now? Would you have enough balls to do it?
Don’t stop reading. This was just a story. We will not use the same opener than him. A bit less direct
Anyway, I asked myself why it works for him. I wanted to try that because I was really needy. Then I went in Grafton Street to try it three-hundred times too but I was too scared to approach women with such an opener. I went out for five evenings and same results; once again I was too anxious to do it. I decided to push myself mentally by finding why he should work. I suddenly realized what was missing, the key:
I did not have enough balls. It explained everything. I was still working on the famous Mystery Method and strongly had the wrong belief routines were essential.
Having balls is the biggest DHV ever. This guy was attractive because he was the only one to have enough guts to show right away his intentions.
Honesty is the second strong attractive point. In indirect game, you are lying about your intention with women. Most of guys are indirect, a sign of cowardice for a lot of women. I prefer to say, being direct is a sign of courage.
Only real men assume themselves, their beliefs and their desires. It is logically going well with other famous methods. A female is looking for a male who can protect them and will take care of her only. This is a basic feminine need to be support by her man. No one can deny it. We will speak more about in the faith section.
Another good point is
you are not wasting your time. When I was using indirect-game, I was spending hours with different groups of people. It was nice, because it improved my social skills, my social circle, and helped me to make new friends. The problem was I could not have a very quick lay. I had to manage obstacles,, be friendly with my target’s friend and everything going with it.
Now, I know within few minutes or second, if it is on or not. It increased the number of my approaches. You will ask me what the point about that? By approaching more girls than usual, you will be used to approach them. Fear and anxiety will decrease with that. This method works really well when you are 100% confident when you approach girls. I’ll give you later some exercises to do to implement this habit.
When a girl is hooked with this method, you have 75% of chance to date her or having her phone number. The only thing is to avoid basic mistakes like described in other methods. In fact, if you can stop her in the street, it means she is strongly interested. You don’t need any other sign of interest to show it. Do you think she would stop if she was not attracted to you? Of course she won’t.
Following the last sentence, when you are getting her phone number, flakes are drastically decreasing. By exchanging phone numbers, you both assume you like each other and you should meet in a flirting context. She knows it by doing this. That is why you will have solid phone numbers in five minutes, more solid than some you took after an hour of a usual interaction. This system is getting you saving time. Time is precious; we don’t want to spend for useless purpose.
To summarize, you just need balls and honesty to get more girls .
Do and don’t
There are some places where you don’t have to approach girls:
• Close of ATMs (except if you like CRS gas).
• Small and/or dark streets.
• Dirty places/streets.
We spoke about the wild part of direct approaches. There is a romantic aspect too, probably not for you, but for them.
Most of girls I know always loved shit romantic TV shows and movies like Bridget Jones or Nothing hill. Of course life and meeting girls is not like in theses movies. TV and actual occidental society makes us, men, nice guys who believe you have to be nice and buy flowers. That kind of guy, I was one of them 2 years ago. You can show your love with crazy declarations, it will not change anything, this girl will not change her mind about you, and you are just a nice creepy guy. Our brains are brainwashed by a happy end American movie culture. Disney movies are the worst thing to watch. Thanks to them, most of men believe they can get girl by being romantic. It is time to open your eyes my friends. That is true, girls love so much Disney movies, because it makes them dream and phantasm. If you asked them, they would like to be this TV heroin who has been seduced by a beautiful prince who played guitar in front of her castle. This is just a fantasy to escape our reality.
Women do not know what they really want! They don’t really know what turn them on. Not consciously at least... Sometimes they do know, but they don't tell either.
But who don’t like to dream? We all dreams awake. Sometimes our mind is on standby, busy with our thoughts and figment of the imagination, like when we go to bed just before sleeping.
I met him in the coffee shop, you know like in this episode of Friends when Rachel...
They don’t really like romance as much as they tell but they love to say to their friend that kind of stories. That is why you have to follow theses rules:
• Don’t do it drunk/stoned: it shows a lake of confidence and no balls at all. No romantic at all too.
• Do it everywhere (
no excuses): in the bus, streets, shops...
• Do it when you feel attraction to the girl.
It will help to increase your chance to start romantic interactions with women. Its looks like more natural and dreamy to meet her in a coffee shop than a club or your local pub.
Most of relationships started thanks to social circles. This method does not require blazing your own social circle to get cheeks. In fact I tend to avoid to pick-up girls in my entourage. I like my friends and don’t want to lose them, just cause of my horny mood. Leave girls you know to your friends, it will avoid you a lot of problems. You don’t need these girls to get lay.
There are plenty of girls everywhere; you have to do it in front of everybody like in the bus. More there are people around watching, more it demonstrates you have balls and spontaneity. If the bus is empty, it is less effective, than if it’s full of people. I met so many guys giving me excuses like “There is too many people around”. I just say them: Bullshit! This is the best situation to make it effective. Then they argue about they don’t want to look like sluts. If the meeting happens as in a girly movie, they don’t think at all about it. We will speak later about why women in this particular circumstance won’t think about being a slut or not.
This is the same about alcohol and drugs. Personally, I avoid direct-game if I have more than one drink or in night venues like clubs, because women expect you are drunk to have so much confidence in that kind of venues. If you smell alcohol (because of a stupid asshole spilling his drink on your clothes...), then you are drunk “by default”.
We already spoke earlier about honesty. It is obvious than more you are attracted to the girl, more it is effective, simply because you will look like more sincere. The problem you can encounter before mastering this system is that more you are attracted to a girl, less you will be indifferent to her. To sum up, you will have fewer balls with a model than a random girl in holidays in another country. In this case, only experience will help you. Being used to approach women in difficult environment will reduce this drawback.
I would like to talk about the famous 3 second rules . This system does not allow you to hold off, you don’t have to wait. More you are spontaneous and fast, more it will work well. In fact if you wait, it will only demonstrate shyness and that you are reckoning your lines. Spontaneity is an important factor which gives an illusion of a natural meeting. It has to look like natural.
Be reactive! Be wild!
Chapter 1 in one sentence:
Have balls: be wild and go!
(1)Persuasion: Theory and Research
by Daniel J. O'Keefe
(2)Jean-Leon Beauvois &Robert-Vincent Joule
(3)Mediterranean people use to have a very small one for example.
(4)Some examples later in this book.
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( bon je suis pas sur d'avoir tout compris hein ! ) 
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