Yop tout le monde!
J'avais lu ce post et j'avais beaucoup appris, c'est dommage qu'il ne soit pas visible dans les archives de fastseduction.com (car trop gros).
Je le repost ici, ça donnera peut être des idées à certains:
------------------
topic: A Week As An Instructor: Turning An AFC Into GPUA (1 of 12), Read 1047 times board: >> General
from: DoctorOwl drowlfs@yahoo.com.au
(first login: January, 12, 2003 09:06 AM) date: Monday, August 08, 2005 05:32 AM
----------
Background
----------
I was recently invited by my friend to instruct in a one-on-one bootcamp to turn him from AFC to a GPUA: in return for return flights to his city and a place to stay during the course of it. I'm not a commercial instructor, though I have done some guest work with others, and so this was my first (and perhaps only) private bootcamp or workshop with my own student.
He started as a normal guy who would roll up in the club and say to a girl "Hey, I like your shoes, where did you get them?" and be politely blown off almost instantly. By the last night he would see seated mixed six sets with an HB8 inside and know exactly what to say and do - roll up, time constraint, sit down, open the hot girl, build attraction, qualify her, go to comfort, disarm any obstacle friends that appear, kiss at his leisure, get her number, build more comfort, and leave.
I consider it an impressive transformation for only a few days of work. First, he really wanted to change; his current good looking Korean girlfriend was leaving the country in a month and he knew that he needed to learn how to replace her or he'd soon suffer the pain of being alone. Second, I came up with a really really good way of teaching him - massive field work and a bare minimum of theory. I let him make a lot of painful mistakes he would remember forever, teach him how to reach the next step for next time, and then actually do it!
To put it bluntly, the journey was fucking interesting to me. And here are all the gory details as best I remember (and I guarantee I have muddled up some parts) for everyone's benefit and enjoyment.
-----------------------
Day 1 (28th July, 2005)
-----------------------
Our first official day started in the car on our way to Chatswood shopping mall. I had a rough sheet of paper with what I wanted to teach him for that day; the structure of pickup (M3 and also TD's old routine stack structure - open, funny story, mini cold read ...), some basic body language, and start working on a basic stack - open, story, cold read, story, vibe.
So I asked what he'd been doing so far. A few months ago he'd approached a hot girl in a club with "I like your shoes, where did you get them?" that resulted in a blow off. I realised I'd fucked up and that the first thing I'd have to teach this guy was FRAME. My monologue to him went something like this.
LESSON ONE: WHATEVER YOU SAY SHOULD BE COMING FROM THE RIGHT PLACE.
"I can roll up and say 'I like your shoes, where did you get them?' and make it work because I have everything else about me right - my look, my body language, my tonality, my conversational followup, and I plain know what to do to take the conversation smoothly to the next level. But it's coming from a bad place to start with. First of all, why do you care where she got her shoes? I mean it's okay to compliment her for good taste if you really want, but the rest of it is just wierd, and that's what will fuck it up for you. Why not roll up and say 'I like your shoes, you've got good taste and I just had to meet you - I'm X.'
THAT would have a MUCH higher chance of working because it's coming from somewhere genuine, masculine, and confident. Internally you're coming from this place where you want to meet this girl and you're man enough to do it without any excuses, but not putting her on a spot where she's going to feel uncomfortable straight away. She can just be "Thanks, I'm Y" and then you can take over the conversation again. Compare that to what you said, which is just insecure and covering up the fact that you want to have a conversation with her but aren't sure how to do it.
But you CAN say anything and have it open. I was out back home with my wings a few weeks ago, and one of my friends asked some fat chick on the side of the street for a light or for the time, I forget. That's all he wanted. And she turns around and says something like 'Go fuck yourself I have a boyfriend' or some shit. He was PISSED off dude, he's this money good looking polite guy and this fat girl is giving him shit for asking for a light? He turns around, says something to the effect of 'You've got to be kidding me, you're a fat ugly fucking piece of shit, I don't WANT you I'm LITERALLY just asking for a light.' They get into some screamfest and we go back inside the club. He sees her inside with her friends a few minutes later, and makes some fat person walking impression as she walks past, and she gets all upset and sits down somewhere while her friends come running over to him asking why he's such an asshole. He goes over to where she's sitting, says 'I grew up with brothers and teasing was a sign of affection in our family', and continues from there. 30 minutes later she's all into him and throwing her number at him. He didn't want it but it was just to test his game and see if it would work.
So yeah you can say anything but it's got to come from the right place. And because you're starting, you can use an easy way to hook the girls attention, an opinion opener. Just roll up and be like 'Hey guys, settle something for us, which of these colognes smells sexier ... on a man.' That's the first opener me and my wings ever used during the day and it works pretty well."
So we rolled around the shopping centre doing some sets like that, and the girls would pick one or the other, but usually they'd peek at the cards and be like "OMG! Definately Armani!" After that we'd just stand there and have nothing to say. So I told him next time, be like "No way, that's what I said! Hi 5!" and slap hands with them, while I'd bust them on peeking at the cards and getting into a mock argument.
But after that the conversation would quickly fade out. We needed a btter conversational thread to take the girls on. Which led him to learn his second lesson about the game. My monologue ...
LESSON TWO: IF YOU DON'T SAY ANYTHING, THEY'LL WALK AWAY, BUT IF YOU KEEP TALKING, THEY WON'T (USUALLY).
"It's not enough to just say an opener and expect the girls to pick up the ball and run with it. They're there shopping or whatever and you've just said this random thing and they don't know what the fuck to do. Actually they're probably a little intimidated or worried because you're this tall guy talking to them and they don't know you.
So when you use an opener, have a follow up story to it, and if possible think about the other threads that run off of the topic you just started, because maybe you can go onto them later. (Ed: Style calls this rooting, but the idea has been around for a long time - I'd just call it grounding your opener and being normal).
Let's use a different opener, something you can use tonight too. Next time, say 'Hey guys, I'm thinking of dying my hair totally blonde, what do you think (or would it suit me)?' Now they're going to say Yes or No, so we have this thread on your hair now, what sort of story can we tell about it?
Let's imagine we have a friend, and he had wild crazy hair, but he's just got it cut, and now he's like this normal boring guy. It sounds kind of interesting. So next time let's be like ...
Hey guys, I'm thinking of dying my hair totally blonde, what do you think?
*Girls respond*
Our friend had this wild crazy hair, and he was a cool guy, but he just cut it all off and now he's TOTALLY normal. Like have you ever had your hair done perfectly, and walked out of the salon doors, and felt like a completely new person?
It's not perfect, it's a little less interesting than I want, but we're in the shopping mall and it's low key so no big deal. (Ed: Yes the NLP was intentional, not because I believe in it or not, but just because the words SOUND interesting and I thought it would be enough to hold the set)"
So we rolled around and did a few more sets like this, the girls would stay and listen to the quick follow up story and usually answer 'Yes!' Then he'd stand there again, because he had nothing to say. Once again we hit a brick wall and needed some response to when the girls say Yes or No. He also noted that the girls are just talking but don't seem too interested or attracted. So this is the perfect place for a cold read. On the surface, it's making a funny observation about the girl and it buys you another 30 seconds of talk time. On another level, it says "I'm judging you for your responses, because I'm a selector and judge of girls, and I'm also funny." I taught him two:
Group cold read (best friends test):
"Wait, I just have to ask you guys, are you best friends? It's so funny, you have the exact same facial expressions, and whenever I say something, or you're about to say something, you both look at each other like this (funny face) like for validation or something."
Lone wolf cold read (kinder surprise, this one I invented):
"You know what, you're like one of those kinder surprise chocolates, all sweet and innocent looking on the outside, but inside you're just like this little toy."
LESSON THREE: A COLD READ BUYS YOU ANOTHER THIRTY SECONDS.
We did a few more sets inserting one of these after the interesting story. Naturally, the girls would kick back and start laughing. It took some practice over the next day or two to get the kinder surprise to work properly for him, exact delivery makes the girls almost double over in laughter and get all gooey inside (something like a small smile and circular hand movement at "sweet and innocent", big grin and pointing at "but inside"). Once again this goes back to coming from the right place, in this case if you're teasing them and having fun it will work, but if you're just saying it because I told you to, it's going to bomb. After the cold read we'd go onto a story about me visiting from Perth and looking for cool clubs to go to in the city, just to get a conversation going.
At this point I sat him down and we had some food. I discussed the two main theories of seduction.
"There's a structure to the entire game. I mean you meet a girl, and start talking, but eventually you want to fuck her, so there's a bunch of steps in between. Mystery, who is probably the world's best PUA, structures the game in 3 phases of 3 stages each, like this.
Attract (technically it is now Interest)
A1, you open the girl
A2, you build her attraction to you by being a money guy and not showing that you're interested in her. If you show her you're interested, then mentally she feels like she has to make a split second decision about whether to fuck you or not, and seeing as she doesn't know anything about you yet the answer is probably - No. And so you'll fuck it up. But if you hold back interest and just show you're a cool guy, then when she has to make that decision she'll have a better chance of saying - Yes. Though the way we play the game, she never HAS to make that decision, it just happens.
A3, once she's attracted to you, you have to show you're attracted to her, but in an oblique way. She has to feel like she deserves you, and that you like her for a legitimate reason other than her fine ass. Once again, if you show too much interest you force her to decide whether she wants to fuck you or not and despite the fact that she's attracted it probably isn't enough because she doesn't trust you or know anything about you and so the answer is - No. So you do it obliquely, like "That's cool, I'm just starting to like you. I'm X." Or you can use beauty is common.
'You know, you're quite pretty. But here we are in Sydney, perhaps the most beautiful city in the world, and beauty is common here, look around. What is it about you, that makes you different from all the other pretty girls?'
Comfort
C1, by here you've introduced yourself and play a fun little game, or talk about celebrities, and other random shit, and you number bridge here (or maybe kiss her), and then keep going.
C2, this is deeper stuff about child hood, and you can kiss her here too, but not a full makeout, just to build comfort.
C3, this is the deepest stuff about prior sexual partners, etc, and turning things slightly sexual.
Sex
S1, this is where you arouse her, preferably in your house rather than the club.
S2, this is where you deal with last minute resistance, she wants to fuck you but holds out a little bit because that's what girls do ... and you deal with it gently and confidently with two steps forward one step back
S3, this is where you fuck her and tell me about it afterwards!
So there is the great master plan of seduction. It's a good framework, but as you can see from what we've done today, the conversation needs a good flow to begin with so you can get from open to attract to comfort, jumping from phase to phase. Which is why TylerDurden created his routine stack which is a rough conversational structure to generate that attraction. It goes like this.
Open (Opinion)
Mini Cold Read (Best Friends, Shoulder Straps)
Funny Story (Bad Ass Little Kid)
Mini Cold Read (Adoption, Bubble Wrap)
Light Story
Teach (IVD, Cs vs Us)
Trust
Tension
Style EV
Embarassing (Rollerblading, find out her most embarassing story)
Cube (Isolate with Cube as an excuse
Qualify
Comfort Build (Have her qualify by tellng you stories based on her Cube)
Kiss
# Close
Story
Story
Extract/Leave
For today, we've been doing Open, Funny Story, Mini Cold Read, Story. We'll get onto all of that other stuff later. But the important thing is the first few, because the cold reads buy you that extra thirty seconds or so to keep going and convey that you're a cool and interesting guy. Apart from that the important thing, for these first few minutes, is to keep talking."
LESSON FOUR: GOING DIRECT IS A GOOD WAY TO GET THE NIGHT STARTED.
Now we left to hit up a club, Establishment, and we took along two Sydney Lair guys. I was rolling around with him doing direct sets to loosen him up, and also to show him a little of (my interpretation of direct) game. "Hey, you guys have a cool energy and we just had to come meet you. I'm X, this is Y. Are you guys from Sydney?" As you'd expect it works like clockwork and we can go onto normal conversation from there with quite a lot of attraction off the bat.
Meanwhile he was practising just talking, being normal, and telling stories (using a vibing structure similar to mini story, question, longer story). Then he saw seated sets he wanted to do, and wasn't sure how to do it.
"Dude, just walk up, tap her on the shoulder, start saying 'Hey guys, I can only stay a minute, but ...' and as you're sitting down continue 'I'm thinking of dying my hair totally blonde ...' and see what happens."
He did it and naturally it worked perfectly. I think the stack he was using was blonde hair, hair story, cold read, then "My friend's visiting from Perth and he says there's NO clothes there, so we have been shopping around everywhere all day. Do you like to shop? Cool, I'm just starting to like you, I'm X" and then vibe. He had a backup story about the Wedding Crashers premiere that was here a few days ago to fall back onto if he needed threads to go onto celebrities or anything else not-too-deep to chat about.
Now it was time for some body language work. I showed him how to stop moving sets (by planting his feet and looking to the side), not to turn towards girls too quickly unless they're already facing you and interested, to hold his drink as far down as possible instead of up at his chest, slow his hand movements down and put them in his back pockets if necessary, and absolutely not to lean in (but to do it if really necessary, just be cool about it).
He was still pausing a lot and forgetting his material, he was doing okay but not getting attraction. I told him to keep working at it, the more he did it the material sounded better and better; once it flowed smoothly he would be sure to get attraction. We left the older crowd at Establishment and went to Greenwood, which has younger blood, and a large laid back outdoor crowd with lots of quiet areas.
I showed him how to deal with the mixed sets there.
LESSON FIVE: IF YOU DON'T QUALIFY YOU MAY AS WELL SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE FACE.
"If it's a guy and two girls, roll in by patting him on the back and saying 'Dude, one guy two girls, what's your secret? Teach me something.' Then he can talk himself into a ditch (or even if he doesn't) you can turn around, ignore him, and run your standard opener on the girls. Or you can also just turn straight to the girls after it and introduce yourself, they like that too. Or you can also ask 'How do you know each other?' and when the girls say 'We don't!" pat him on the back again and be like 'Dude! You're so SMOOTH.'"
Naturally it worked perfectly and he did a couple of sets this way, it was boosting his confidence a LOT to blow guys out this easily and get attraction from the girls just for doing it. Then he turned his eyes to a HOT lone wolf, sat down with a time constraint, ran his stack, and 4 minutes in she's flicking her hair, smiling, turned towards him, and they're talking about stuff. He had attraction for sure, and stayed in quite a while, leaving about 15 minutes in.
I asked why he left, and he didn't know what to do next to get her number. This is what I was talking about in the introduction, by fucking up the set that he wants, he learns (and remembers!) how to get to the next stage.
"Well she was attracted to you dude, but what did you do? You just kept talking. Remember the M3 model, once she likes you, did you show you liked her? No. So how can you expect to get her number? When you go to get her number she'll snap out of it and be like ... wait why does he want it? And it's going to flake.
So next time, say that beauty is common and ask what it is about her that makes her different from all the other pretty girls in the club. If they give you something, say 'Cool. I'm just starting to like you' and introduce yourself. If they don't know, continue 'Well when you were this tall, like 10 years old, what did you want to be when you grew up? And don't say princess!' and when they tell you, act surprised 'Oh! So you're a ballerina ... now?' and when she's like 'No, I'm X' be like 'That's cool, I'm just starting to like you' and introduce yourself."
He whined about dropping that girl for the rest of the night, and continued running his stack on others and occasionally forgetting to run the qualification routine. It was getting late, we met up with some other Sydney Lair guys to chill out, and called it a night.
-----------------------
Day 2 (29th July, 2005)
-----------------------
Because he did so well the night before, I decided we'd up the weight and test him against a harsher environment, a proper club with higher esteem women, loud music, and high energy environment. We hit up Veranda Bar, known for its bitchy asian girls, and I told him it would be tough going but he'd learn a LOT if he just stuck with the plan. For clubs like this I wear my LED shirt, "I lie to girls". We had a steady stream of guys coming up with their girls all night to say "Cool shirt!", giving my student ample opportunity to open plenty and see how it went. It was a harsh lesson! He struggled all night to generate attraction.
LESSON SIX: CLUBS ARE THE ULTIMATE PROVING GROUND.
"This is a club, not a lounge. In a lounge you can lay back and chill and talk normally and get the girls. In a club like this, it's higher energy, there is more excitement and distracting things happening around us, so it pays to put a bit more excitement into what you're saying. You also need to smile more and act like you're having more fun, so that you're not seen as a sourpuss.
Yes, an ultra money cool guy would roll in and just be totally chill, but we don't have that luxury. I'm not saying be a crazy clown, I mean just be smooth. Like, roll into set smiling, put your arms around the girls, and start running your opener. It will work great, because they're in that sort of mood. When you're in set, cut in closer and invade into her space more, to build an exciting charge.
Don't be like 'I'm thinking of dying my hair blonde, what do you think?' Instead, be like "Guys I'm thinking of dying my hair TOTALLY blonde, like SPIKING IT UP and everything, what do you think? NO like this (hands on his head) spiked up, and blonde tips." And when they respond, instead of going straight to your story, throw in a mini cold read, "Woah, I totally wouldn't expect you to say that" then carry on with your story."
I also showed him how to roll in and just fuck around, ie: open with who lies more, funny as fuck followup story, then the lying game.
"Hey guys, settle something for us, who lies more, men or women? No way (or Yeah! Hi 5!). I think men lie about the LITTLE things like 'I swear, I put the toilet seat down!' but women lie about the BIG things like 'It's YOUR baby!' Wait, which of you guys is the best liar? Let's test this out, I'm going to ask 5 questions, and you have to lie to all of them. They'll be simple like, what colour is my shirt, but you can't be boring like 'Pink', you have to say 'It's a swirling multitude of colours'.
So what colour is my shirt? Good, that's good. And what's this (pointing at the ceiling). Great, very good. And, what sort of shoes are you wearing? Excellent. Ummm, what colour is my shirt. Oh wait, have I already asked that? BUSTED! I got you! Have you played this game before? BUSTED AGAIN! I can't believe it, you're such a sucker!"
I had him try it but he couldn't get it running very well. I demonstrated it a couple times, and the key is to get the facial expressions and comedic timing right for "I swear I put the toilet seat down!" and "It's YOUR baby!", so that they laugh enough to go onto the next gag. He added it onto his stack and continued to use it. One of these sets was pretty good, I think he could have number bridged but he didn't as he got a boyfriend objection 20 minutes in or so.
"If they mention their boyfriend, just say 'Oooh, you look like the sort of girl that has at least TWO boyfriends' and smile and continue. And forget about it. It may mean you fucked something up earlier. It may be them trying to show off and say that they can attract men. Either way just poke fun at it and move on, it is best left ignored. Most times I say this, the girl will just laugh and never mention him again, or sometimes say 'Maybe I do ...'. Either way it opens the possibility to them, mentally, of having a boyfriend AND you. That's all you need to do."
He was pretty bummed out, because I'd hyped him up that he'd get a number that night for sure (I thought he was that good), and although he was close, he didn't and felt a bit like a failure. But there's always the next day ...
LESSON SEVEN: ALWAYS THINK POSITIVE.
I told him he'd achieved something difficult, to game in a club, and to think positive. As a humorous side note, I number bridged this chick in her set that night by going direct, but called the number the next day and... it didn't ring, it didn't make a sound or go to voicemail, it did nothing.
I thought negatively for a moment. "It's a fake! How is this possible? My game is great, how could I get a fake number, what is this guy going to think of me when I'm teaching him and getting a fake number?" Actually I told him about it the next day, and said... sometimes numbers are fake or flake even if they seem solid and that sometimes we can't understand why, but we should stay positive anyway because one day we'll work it out.
But I was a fucking idiot for not trying again. The day I left Sydney, I was clearing up my phone in the airport, and called it again just to be sure. She picked up. She was sad I was leaving before I had a chance to meet up with her! Holy shit, the first time I called it was just dumb luck with reception and my low phone battery. If I'd tried again before leaving, I would have had a better chance at getting her.
What a waste. So I kept the number anyway to call her next time I'm in Sydney. And there's the lesson, always think positive. Holy shit.
---------------------
Day 3 (4th Aug, 2005)
---------------------
Over the next couple days he flaked off and spent time with his girlfriend, which I'd normally argue with but seeing as I'd completely lost my voice, I thankfully took the few days off to recover. We took another crack at the club scene at the next best opportunity, when my voice was back to its fullest too.
In the afternoon, we went off to Bondi Junction shopping centre and got some food. I have a list of the names of the 100+ routines, stories, cold reads, and openers I have (most of them my own, some from others). I sat down with him, delivering them one by one so he could see how they work. I demonstrated on a lone wolf, and then we went back to the car and started building him a proper stack from the ground up using TylerDurden's structure. It went something like this (I think I missed one or two things but it's fairly complete):
"Open: Guys, I'm thinking of dying my hair totally blonde, what do you think?
(Yes/No)
No, like spiking it up, with tips and everything.
(Yes/No)
Mini Cold Read: Woah I totally wouldn't expect that from you.
Funny Story: My hairdresser wants me to do it, but I don't know, cause I think he could be sort of you know, gay. I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but straight guys, we always point from down here, at the hip (pointing, over here, over there), but gay guys, they always point from up here (hand up in the air, pointing) like this, and this.
(Girls laughing their ass off)
Mini Cold Read: I don't want to do it if he's gay, cause women have a much better sense of fashion. I bet you guys are like shopping experts. You probably have a hundred pairs of shoes. Am I right?
(Girls always say 'Mmmm, 99!')
Funny Story: You're so busted, I only have 4! Shit. Hey, did you see that badass little kid outside? He had on these platform shoes, ripped jeans, skull shirt, bandana, just like JoyC (?) from Kid Rock. So I went up to him with my friend, and we're like 'You can be our brand new mascott', and you know what he did? He did this ... (finger, and funny face). It was so cute, he must be like 12, I was going to go find his parents but then I'd be OFFICIALLY old.
Teach: My ex worked for Girlfriend, and she said that ... C's and U's
Trust: Here, go like this ... Trust Test
Qualify: You know, you're quite pretty, but ... Beauty is Common
That's so cool. I'm just starting to like you. I'm X."
Instead of going straight to the Establishment, we went off to Cargo Lounge where there's as many free Gin & Tonics as you can drink between 6pm and 8pm. I started drinking and pushing him into a few sets, but his opener delivery had become bullshit again, and I had to roll into set behind him, "No, SPIKING it up and EVERYTHING" to get the girls to respond properly.
"Dude, you're the MAN. You're asking an opinion but that's just to get the ball rolling and judge them. Deliver it confidently, not meekly. Grab their attention!"
He was getting better. We saw an awesome awesome awesome asian two set, although they were next to two other girls and two other guys, and there was no space on the seats to sit. He wasn't sure how to do it.
LESSON EIGHT: IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW YOU DO IT, JUST DO IT.
"Walk up, time constraint, and squat down a little and push her off the chair with your ass a little enough for you to sit down and continue. The moment she sees you trying to sit down she'll squeeze over a little anyway. If you really, really don't want to do that, then sort of kneel down and say it, but eventually you'll have to push her over to sit down anyway.
It doesn't matter how you really do this stuff. What's important is you see it, and you're like: okay, I want to do this. Then you work out something to do. It doesn't have to work. What's important is you try to do it and if it works, great, you have something new you can use, if it doesn't, you can try to tweak it or do something else for next time."
Needless to say, he did what I said, pushed the girl over a little, sat down, and gamed the fuck out of the set, it was great and his stack worked brilliantly. I came in and joined him and we had an awesome time for the next half hour or so. Except, he lost his girl when he went to do the trust test that I had showed him earlier. He stood her up to do it, he was like "Stand up, do this, blah blah, blah, cool" and then sat back down with a long pause, and in its entirely this little display freaked her out a bit and she went cold afterwards. She went to the bar, came back, but her seat was taken, and ... game over.
LESSON NINE: CALIBRATE AND ESCALATE.
"I know it looked awesome, but we both fucked up because we should have had their numbers or tongued them down. They were fucking into us, we went into qualify, we went into comfort, and then shifted back to attraction, instead of just building more comfort like we should have. It takes 4-7 hours to lay her, so we need to go slowly and not back track just because it's fun. Laying her is more fun than going back to attraction and fucking around.
Remember there's a game plan and you have to be watching the girl to see the time when you should shift gears up to the next level. Think about what you're saying and doing, standing her up to do the trust test and going quiet after, that is pretty bad. Calibrate this shit, if it's going to look wierd then skip it and move on. And MOVE ON. Is she into you? Qualify. Did she pass? Introduce yourself. Are you in Comfort1 ? Get her number and start to build Comfort 2 by going more intimate. I'll tell you how to do that when we actually reach that point.
I don't think you could have gotten her number. But you should have tried, just because you have nothing to lose and everything to learn. Be like 'Hey it was cool meeting you but I have to go hang with my friends. We should get in touch later, do you have a cell?'"
From here we went to Establishment, but it was crap that night. We went off to a big University of NSW party and he number bridged his first 2 girls by following his game plan and routine stack exactly as I had shown him (though still lagging in attraction a bit too long).
----------------------
Day 4 (5th July, 2005)
----------------------
This night we went to Cargo Bar and Bungalo 8. At Cargo he hit up a few sets, and had trouble building attraction. His problem was juggling too much between the girls in a set. I told him to open both, but as the stack continues spend more time talking to just one of them, until the other gets the picture and disappears. He was also leaning in too much again and not looking very relaxed. Then he was spending too much time in attraction instead of qualifying. I taught him how to run The Cube and use it to get in close kino with the girl and build comfort.
"Remember last night. Look at the girls, see if they are into you - smiling, interacting, flicking the hair, stroking their hair, turned towards you. Then qualify and MOVE ON.
And after you've introduced yourself, cut into her space a little more, this builds the trust. If you want to kiss her, drop your voice a little lower, talk a little slower too. This adds a sexual vibe to you learning about each other, you can get close by running the Cube (I have a special way of doing this that I showed him). And then do this - I call it SHIT but its adapted from Maniac.
'I just noticed, you smell so good, what are you wearing?' S - SMELL.
*smell her from shoulder to neck*
'It's so nice. Your hair feels so soft ...' H - HAIR
*stroke her hair*
'And your skin, it feels so smooth ...' I - SKIN
*holding her hand, stroking it in circles*
'Do you like to be touched?' T - TOUCH
If she's like 'Ummm, yes' then kiss her. I don't actually do this, I do the full Style's evolution, but it's too long for you to remember so just try this and see what happens. Remember you only learn from your mistakes!"
He went into some big fucking seated mixed sets, got attraction from his girl but half an hour later the hotter girls across the table were vying for his attention and instead of going up and sitting next to them and going straight to trust test (which would have worked) and/or running his stack, he was leaning across the table running some fucked up shit, and lost it. I think he number closed one at the end, or at least tried to. A very good effort!
Then he did another set, almost the same as the first, but this time the girl was hot. Bumped the girl over on the chair, and ran his stack. Got attraction, qualified, and spent the next hour in comfort. Befriended her friends when they came up (I think they even bought him a drink), kept her in isolation, got her number, kept building comfort, etc. But while me and one of the other guys were watching, it was CLEAR it was time to kiss her not even 20 minutes into the set, just to build comfort and set the vibe. I even SMS'd him "Phase shift that shit! SHIT!" but he didn't get it at the time.
After he got out it was time for the final debrief.
LESSON TEN: IF NOTHING ELSE, SHE'LL MAKE A GOOD FRIEND.
"When the window of opportunity opens for you to kiss her, when you keep going with attraction, things just fuck up. It may look solid, but unless you tone down, cut the space, talk slower, and start building that intimate connection you'll have problems with flakes and all sorts of other shit. Actually most girls will just suddenly turn off and want to walk away, because they sense you're just fucking around and not going to make the move to fuck them, or make them comfortable (by kissing them in a masculine non-needy way).
After you've build the first bit of comfort when you have her number, turn intimate with your voice and phase shift to get a kiss, then continue building comfort exactly like NORMAL (that is, close and intimate) - not like you'd go in to attract them (loud, confident, strong). Watch her! This is what calibration is all about, you have to watch her and check to see that things are progressing according to YOUR GAME PLAN, nobody elses, otherwise it will go nowhere.
By the way, have you called your numbers from last night yet?"
Despite everything I said, we both knew the set was awesome and I'm just a perfectionist. From what I'd seen that night I knew my job was done, as long as he stuck to the plan, and pushed himself, he'd look cool, befriend people, get numbers and build attraction, get makeouts if he went for it, and know how to escalate it sexually according to a gameplan. And that's exactly what I'd expect from a qualify commercial workshop.
----------
Conclusion
----------
We went out one more night which was largely uneventful, just hanging with the guys. I managed to fuck up my very last set in Sydney, right next to where I was staying, 3 hours with this Japanese girl and at the end she says "My friends want to go, we live up the road, what do we do?" and in my tired foggy 3am state I said "Ok cool cya" instead of "Hey, let them go, I'll walk you home later, let's go dance" or some equally stupid shit that would almost have guaranteed me a lay. I guess we ALL learn from the game.
I'm back in Perth feeling pretty fucking good to sleep in my own bed again. I left here a little unsure what to do and stressed about if I could live up to his expectations (after all, he spent a lot of money getting me there). But I came back knowing that I'd got him to achieve exactly what he had wanted. I asked if he was satisfied, and he is more than satisfied. I also managed to hook him in with all the active Sydney Lair guys (and taught him wing rules in the car ride to the airport).
Big thanks to Veroxii and Gordon (and Guy) for letting me stay at Project Sydney while doing all of this! I couldn't have done it with you to chat to and chill out with all the time. Big thanks to the active Sydney Lair guys for their company. These guys are fun, enthusiastic, and surprisingly fucking good at the game, each with their own individual styles. I learned a lot just from watching you guys alone, and it was absolutely the most enjoyable part of my trip.
I purposely left out names in here because I didn't know who would want to be mentioned. Nothing personal.
On openers :
They're not random at all. They're controversial issues. They just seem random because you're afraid to talk to girls. Oooh, poor baby, here's a rattle and milk bottle.
Have you even tried any? Just roll up and be like "Hey guys, settle something for me, who should pay on the first date ... the guy or the girl?" When they go onto some big rant about how the man should pay, be like "What about splitting the cheque?" and when they rant on how that's so rude and not to do it then be like "Woah, I mean at like McDonalds or something, not a restaurant" and watch the sparks fly.
That's how we got started last night. It's hilarious. You could then follow with a cold read, "Wow, I thought you guys would be really uptight, but you're actually fairly laid back and chill ... I'm X what's your name", then go from there and talk about cats and dogs or something.
It's not that hard. You can even do this on your GIRL FRIENDS (if you have any).
Date Posted: 2004/07/02 08:09:00 AM EDT
Author: DoctorOwl <unknown email address>
Subject: FR: 010704 Bridge, mistake, SPs and list structure
THE GOOD
I've been using the same "Nails" set list for the last fortnight now, it has
opened EVERY set I've gone into for the past fortnight, and every set this week
(been out every night) I've run to isolation, palm reading, and number bridge.
Last night, the girl photo'd was very nice HB 7.5, bad photo angle but just
trust me okay I had her alone, palm reading, number close, went to rapport,
but hesitated just that bit too long on the kiss and she freaked a bit. I also
fucked up Evolution Phase Shift, holding her hair too long and she's like "You
can let go now ..." Oops.
Today I was looking through some articles by Mystery on the old Lounge and he
mentioned not to push the 7 hours. I mean, why force a kiss if it's in your
list, when she obviously loved me and had already kissed my cheek. I could have
just held hands and walked her around the club and talked to her friends. I'd
win "overall".
My new strategy: If it looks like I've won, chill the fuck out and stop pushing
the list.
THE FUCKED
But what is really pissing me off, is that I'm limiting myself in the club. I
have a really good list, really solid delivery (I should record it while it's
at the top of it's game) and everything is going fine.
But I'm focusing on 1-2 female sets with no guys. I see HOTTER chicks in 3-4-6
sets, or sets with guys, and I'm not approaching, or they walk past and I don't
open.
It seems like the better my game gets, the more likely I am to just sit there,
do 1-2 really solid number closes, go home, and then never call them (fear of
my shitty phone game, though some wicked phone game rules have been posted here
lately).
I'm fucking stupid. I'm a stupid poo-head idiot (Hi 26!) I know that if I hit
up more sets including males, the skill set will come, I'm just too pussy to
invest that small beginning time.
I need to hit up more sets. I am SURE I could be number closing the whole club
by this stage, if I just started opening more. Anyway, that's where my game is
at right now.
HOW MY SET SCRIPT WORKS
I think the beginning 5 "routine types" are essential to having a really good
opener. The rest just seems to fit in. I'm moving some of my RAFC wings onto
this structure now to see if it helps improve their game, because so far I
think they're fucking up because of really different routines being linked
together.
- Quick hook question (dropped the "I need a female opinion", it's too long, I
just use "Guys, what's your first impression of black nails?"
- Their opinion
- C&F banter ("Of course, but what about, ON MEN *flash nails*")
- Funny story (Mystery's elevator story)
- Cold read / Neg ("Go like this, I can't believe my nails are better than
yours!" and quickly smiling and grabbing them back because they nearly blow up
at this point)
- Engaging story (Gothics on the dance floor, engages their emotions with
"Would you tell her?!" and "I wish I had a women's intution like you")
- Role Play (Bodyguards with funny visualisations for buying temperature)
- Disassociative Kino Fun (Thumb Wars)
- Disqualifier (Too similar, with TommyW's Mystery add-on)
- Qualify (Beauty is common)
- Isolation for Palm Reading, Kiss, and Number
That's it. But I wonder how it works in sets with guys. I really want to open
sets with guys once I get over this stupid irrational fear.
Repost: DoctorOwl (anglais)
[traduction en cours]