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My self-summary
The unholy union between a debutante and a redneck. Ex-Catholic school girl (sans uniform and sans hang ups), ex-expat and ex-existentialist. Glorified secretary in the capitalistic branch of the humanitarian sector, waitress, voedselteams depot manager, horrible housekeeper, aspiring fat cat*. "Pin-up model with dragons in the curves" (according to friend on acid)

Just kidding; I look like your grandma naked on a trampoline

That's also not true, but I do get a perverse pleasure out of making you picture your grandma naked. Although, if you think about it (again, moeahahaha) your grandma joyfully bouncing up and down naked on a trampoline is a pretty awesome thing on a multitude of levels.

My opinion about absolutely everything is "it depends".

On more than one occasion I have been compared to a squirrel on coke with severe ADD, but this is only sometimes true.

I crave solitude but savor companionship. Not sure what I'd do without internet dating

(*in the literal sense: just eat, sleep and get pet all day)

What I’m doing with my life
Not much, but how much would you get done with breasts at your constant disposal?
I’m really good at
Changing topics

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I don't think that you are defined by the books you've read, the places you've been or the music you listen to. People are rarely as simple as that, give them a little credit